Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Disaster Dates

  Dating!   The crazy dates in my life. They are rather comical  if not at sometimes disturbing.

Image from google

 We started talking online and I had seen bis picture. I was talking to this tall handsome man with long black hair. Who was much older than I.   We decided for our first date to go out to eat. To my surprise, awaiting a handsome stranger, at Olive Garden. He showed up in worn-out green sweat pants and sweatshirt to match on top of black velcro shoes. He was shorter than my 5'8" figure.  His hair was long and black, but he forgot to tell me he was half bald. He ate with only a spoon. He ordered pasta. No, not a spoon with a fork, just a spoon.

I must have told him my honest impression of what I thought of him. I remember that I rather freaked him out as he thought, I could read his mind. Maybe the eyes of his soul spoke words louder then he could ever say. This moment is a blur, but I picked up on something, not even knowing to my awareness what it was.

Then there was the date at the apple mill. He was too strange for words. While we were walking the paths and through the whole tour of the apple Mill. He kept pocking me in my belly button and giggling like I was his Pillsbury's Dough Boy. Half through the path, we arrived at a bench. He told me he wanted to massage my feet and to take off my shoes, cuz all the girls like that.

If I can't forget Lewis the looser, which I named him after our first date, not to mention a few other dates. He failed to never call or show up on two other dates.  A friend had urged me to forgive him another chance. He had help her in a really bad situation. He was after all a really great guy in her eyes.

He met me while at the Library as I browsed the Internet. He told me he was checking me out for a long time as he was not sure if I was a guy or a girl. I assumed this was much better than all my Internet dating. A real person in a real place. He asked me out on a date that night and told me he was able to get in free to the dance club Studio 4.

I arrived all dolled up, far from the image of the half girl half guy as he same me. The doorman took my faux fur coat and wow, I didn't spend a dime. He too was in a nice swanky suit as I didn't much judge him when he was in a baseball cap and sweats and sneakers at our first meeting at the Library. I had no idea I was going on a date with such a find. Yeah, I definitely thought he was well off.

Most of the night he mingled with other women. I was not the jealous type, so I let all the interactions occur. Meanwhile, I went to the bar getting free drinks and I danced with my self to the groovy beats. Thinking to myself while I spend a good part of my night with myself.  He was a regular and probably everybody knew him. He was self-employed specializing in door installment and locks. A master locksmith. He said he had business to attend to. So, I let it be.

On the dance floor not too far from my ear reach, he tells a guy he owns a house in Ann Arbor and rents out the extra rooms.  Mapping that down in my memory bank.   I go home with the guy. I arrive to find out that he actually rents a room in a house in Ann Arbor in the basement if all the places. He has no idea that I overheard what he really said about his place.

I  sometime in the night am informed that he asked me out because I was a TAX Write OFF. Glancing over at the bookshelf, I noticed two twin boys in his arms. I myself am a twin. Being a twin I Noticed other twins. Asking who they were,  his reply my nephews.

How did the Loser get into Lewis:

  •  The boys were his sons
  • I was a tax write off
  • He had no connection, but just pay things off to make it look like he was all hooked up
  • The business he had to attend too. I am sure was just a role. 
  • The women. Looking back. He was a flirt, probably making hookups ups
I didn't see any of this. I just let people be, do there thing, who was I to be the crazy jealous date of a guy I hardly knew...

The computer guy who lives in an Eco friendly green house. His blog screamed narcissistic." He wants women to like him for who is" I am sure that's why he was dressed like a huge hobo, sneakers cut out to get that extra ware. His house and car told me he made lots of money. The clothes, did not hide the rest of his material world.
 Years earlier we had met for a brief moment, he thought I was cute.  I retraced my memory to realize, I had remember his whole outfit that day we met.

He had ask me in a phone conversation if I had read the blog about his x girlfriend who broke his heart, telling me her father was some regious cult, she was fucked up.  He told me, I could if I wanted too wikipedi her dad.

It not clear to me in what order things happened. It a blend of many phone conversation and one outting.

Getting into his car to heading to the pizza place with the rest of his employees. Tuesday was  pizza night. I again was cool not thinking much of this, maybe he wanted to feel me out before he had to embrace me just on his own. 
 I gotta excited and pointed  something out the car window." Are you going to clean that off, now?"  He siad after my finger left a smudge on his car window.  We hung out and ate pizza with everyone at the pizza place, meanwhile, he's on his cell phone working most of the time.  Back at his place, He walked up the staris. He asked me if I feel okay, him taking a shower. I sit at the only place to sit, his bed. That was a wrong move. I had my dirty street clothes on which didn't mix well with the bed.

He had a tramp stamp, never fully making out the words, I guess it to be DETROIT.

I was also informed of what I should be doing with my life currently. That if I had a cleaning business, that I should really be working on getting more clients, that's what he would do and I should be also getting my divorce, if I were in fact separated.

He told me he wanted a women to Bring home the Dough

Now, at my place of work, I get to see him daily.  With lots women. I look at them and nothing sparks my attention.. shes got money maybe?. He dresses well know. When I see him I want to ask. " Did you find your women who brings home the dough." It sure don't look like it?

1 comment:

  1. Some of these dates sound absolutely horrifying