Disconnected

DisConnect



Technology seems to be taking over our daily lives and interactions.  I work at a grocery store. What better example as I witness our disconnectedness everyday. We are getting more and more disconnected from reality as we become more connected to our television, ipod, cellphone, video games, internet, and computers.  Experiencing interpersonal human interaction. We have lost touch with ourselves and it's only getting worse.

What brought on my alarm was one day, while shopping, a mom had her kid in the cart.  He was hooked up to his portable DVD player.  I thought that this was  bad because the kid will never be able to learn from his life's experiences because he never has any. 

• Then, there is the very good looking mom. I always adore her for awesome fashion sense, but we employees talk about her all the time. She only seems interested in her cell phone. she's on it every time she shops, the whole time. she shops often. Her kids constantly nag for her attention.  Cell phones appear to be far more important then anything else. There's the mom that came in with a cell phone in one hand and her ipod touch in the other hand. She didn't have hands left for anything else. 

• My friend also told me this story. While she was at her boyfriend's house, the two kids were in the living room sitting at opposite ends of the couch instant messing back and forth via their computers to each other.  If that didn't strike me as maybe something is wrong here. There was the couple on a reality t.v. shows, who were young teenagers, fighting about there relationship. The girl could not get her boyfriend to talk to her in person. The only way he communicate was via text, email, and facebook

•  On the Oprah show another mom appeared and they added up her cell phone minutes. Out of 1,440 minutes of the day. 8 hours a day she was on her cell phone. That was1 minute out of every three minutes she was on that phone.

How can you be here is this moment or even really have a relationship with your children? Then there was my A.D.D. book that brought it home. This can go for any kids regardless if you have A.D.D or not.

According to" Driven to Distraction." They quote one of the leading children psychologist. The question was. "How do I get my child to listen to me and to do what I want!?"  The answer was this.

•  Set a side 20 minutes a week. Schedule the time with your child.
•  Make it happen at the same time every week.
•  No taking calls, no making food, no bathroom breaks.
•  Just you and your child.  Doing what ever your child wants to do. Giving them your whole attention and not taking the time to try and do anything else.
•  If you are not able to keep the time, then you have to reschedule another time and day with you child.
• The 20 minutes a week is making a promise to your child, if you can't keep it then, you are not keeping your promise. In doing this you will be amazed of how much of a difference this makes in your child's life.

This really got to me. Parents don't  have time to give there kids time?  Why have kids? 20 Minutes a week is nothing. I thought it would be a whole lot more then just 20 minutes. This I found to be devastating.  With both working parents these day. Time to do anything would be impossible.  I do not understand people who have children only  to work and then put them in day care all day. 

The couples at the check outlines, we both be exiting on there phone at the same time. To whom ever. I don't terribly mind you being on your cell phone, as long as you make some kind of contact with your cashier. Then you get the person, who totally for gets and huff and puffs.They swipe the credit card and forget the rest of the steps. Standing there holding up the lane, having there conversation. Meanwhile, you realize, they forgot. You gotta push the next button, then they stop again, talking. You have two more button to push before your transaction is done.  Then you are the evil one for interchange the conversation. There was no"hi" or" hello" or anything.  Often the person checking you out, is all but a ghost.

I don't even know my neighbours anymore. In some places I know them and some I dont. The y2k the Major black out that happen for days. It forced everyone out of there personal space. Everyone was outside talking. People who never spoke, were talking. We had no cell phones, computer or anything to do but to interact with one another. It's sad that something so crazy like a black out had to happen to make people come together.

Kids too are getting younger with cell phones. I had a young girl in my lane, middle school age who for what ever  reason, stood right next to me and texted away. I had to ask her to move. She was on my space and on the wrong side of the counter. Then she flung herself on the otherside, arms stretched out and her head resting on the edge of my counter. I was trying to make room for the groceries to go.  She took up the whole counter space with her body texting.  Never, once stopping to even realize where she was or her body.

Then there were two kids  at the bar.  Each were hooked up to there own personal D.v.D player. That's two d.v.d players with two different movies going on.. I guess parents can be boring. Children have very short attention spans. I agree and disagree. Back in my day, you hooked up kids to get them out of your hair, to the t.v. when you got home. Now, you can do it all the time.

Image c/o Corbis.com